This was an introductory speech to an audience of more than one thousand: 900+ students and their 200 teachers. All were Japanese although everyone at university level understands English to varying degrees. I was also addressing only the English language college, so their skills were already good.
I simply had to introduce myself, give a brief biography, then explain my role as the newest English language instructor at this university.
I had prepared a five minute speech, as my more experienced Japanese colleagues had recommended. However, I wound up going on for almost 10 minutes in a completely unexpected improv piece.
In Japanese, “good morning” is ohayo goziamasu.” The speaker before me was a short-ish Japanese lady, as were the majority of the new teachers introducing themselves. When I stepped up to the podium, the microphone was very low for me, so I bent my neck far downwards in order to speak into it, wanting to begin with a friendly “Ohayo goziamasu.”
Yet, because my neck and throat were compressed as such, when I began with the O sound, it came out very deep and guttural, which surprised the hell out of me. In my mind I thought, “Okay, what now?” Yet that low OOOOOO kept coming out uninterrupted. So I decided to ad lib.
I carried on with the OOOOO while slowly raising my head and tone so that the pitch grew continually higher. When it was almost a shriek, I hit, “-hayo goziamasu,” as my crescendo. The audience burst into applause and laughter.
Okay, so they have seen Robin Williams in Good Morning, Viet Nam. They now want Robin Williams, I will give them Robin Williams. I did.
I had studied drama at university, performed a little, directed a bit more, and had coached forensics for years. I knew improv, with and without props
I improvised, grabbing the mic from the podium and walking about like a stand-up. Oh, to be sure I delivered to them all my pertinent info, but now it was done in a more pretzel manner, twirled, flipped, and folded over for consumption. I have always been rather quick of wit, but this may have been my masterpiece.
As I finished and returned the microphone to the podium, I turned to see my standing ovation. And it all started because the mic was so low that my good morning came out sounding weird to my own ears.
To paraphrase Bob Ross, the painter, “We only make happy mistakes that we can always turn to our advantage.”
Global English Tutor - Paul Cuadrado 